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This Unblessed Biscuit
S11E3
Season
Episode
3
Airdate
October 10, 2013
Ratings
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Written by
Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson (story) Don Reo, Matt Ross & Matt Searle (teleplay
Directed by
Also Starring
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Guest Starring
Edie McLurg - Helen
Kimberly Hebert-Gregory - Lisa
Jennifer Chang - Colleen
Special Guest Star(s)
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Co-Starring
Uncredited
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This Unblessed Biscuit is the 3rd episode of Season 11. It aired on October 10, 2013.

Summary

Walden and Alan think it may be time for Berta to retire when she injures her back at work.

Plot

Walden is busy working and Alan, as his assistant, is asking petty and useless questions, disturbing his focus. 

Walden goes upstairs to find Berta laying on his bed, Berta claims she threw out her back, and claims she's never felt that since that one time in Sturgis, when she and a couple of bikers got naked and took acid. Walden calls for Alan's opinion on her back, Alan suggests bed rest and an ice pack. He wants to check her back, but she refuses. Walden plans to call a doctor for which Alan says, they'll only give her prescription drugs, which Berta agrees to, The following day, Walden returns to the bedroom to discover that Berta took 2 weeks worth of muscle relaxers and smoked some of Walden's pot in a box labeled 'Not Pot'.  Walden makes a remark about Alan wearing Boys Husky underwear. and discusses Berta. They offer her retirement, but she gets offended and quits. The men try out getting a replacement, the first maid Helen was a great maid, but was very religious, believing that Walden and Alan are a gay couple, and during grace, prays that they change their ways or burn in hell. The next maid, Colleen does a good job too, but happens to have 4 guns and a shank in her bag, for which Walden begs Alan to tell her that she's fired, because Walden is too afraid to do it himself. Then they interview a black woman for the position, only to find out she sees everything as being racist, when asked what would they like for breakfast, Walden replies pancakes, and interviewee gets mad saying 'Pancakes, you see a black woman, and you think pancakes, should i wear a bandanna and dress like aunt Jemima.' The men say, they'll have waffles instead, which the interviewee replies, waffles as in CHICKEN AND WAFFLES?!?!. She asks how would they like their coffee, Walden was about to say Black, but decided to change it for Tea with milk instead.

Alan talks Walden into apologizing to Berta. They agree, and have Alan do some housework as a topless maid in the end.

Cast

Guest Starring

  • Edie McLurg as Helen
  • Kimberly Hebert-Gregory as Lisa
  • Jennifer Chang as Colleen.

Title quotation from

Alan, asking if he could eat the (unblessed) biscuit, before they are about to say grace.

Quotes

  • Walden: Our old maid would clean and cook for us, are you comfortable doing those things?
    Lisa: Yes, what would you like me to cook?
    Walden: Well, for breakfast I like pancakes.
    Lisa: Of course. You see an African American woman and the first thing you think is, “Ain’t yo mamma gon’ whip us some flapjacks?
    Walden and Alan: No!!
    Lisa: You going to ask me to bring my own bandana or y'all gonna supply me with one?
    Walden and Alan: We just like pancakes, nothing like that, you can make waffles instead.
    Lisa: CHICKEN AND WAFFLES?!
    Walden and Alan: No!!
Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
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Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
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Season 4
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Season 5
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Season 6
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Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
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Season 10
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Season 11
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Season 12
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