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Taterhead is Our Love Child

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Taterhead is Our Love Child
S6E1
Season
Episode
1
Airdate
September 22, 2008
Ratings
Running time
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Production code
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Flashback
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Flash-forward
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Flash sideways
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Ratings
Written by
Jim Patterson, Don Foster & Mark Roberts (teleplay)
Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre (story)
Directed by
Also Starring
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Guest Starring
Martin Mull - Russell
Rena Sofer - Chrissy
Brendan Patrick Connor - Clive
Matt Cates - Craig
Aaron Refvem - Chuck
Clint Culp - William
Meeghan Holaway - Brenda
Special Guest Star(s)
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Co-Starring
Uncredited
Previous Episode
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Next Episode
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Archive footage
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Taterhead is Our Love Child is the season premiere of Season 6. It aired on September 22, 2008.

Summary

Charlie discovers an ex has a child that looks remarkably like him.

Plot

While Charlie, Alan and Jake are at a cafe, Charlie meets a woman, Chrissy, that he dated about eight years ago. She is with an eight-year old boy who looks remarkably like Charlie and dresses like him, and Chrissy tells Charlie that he is also a good piano player.

Later, at a pharmacy, Charlie asks the pharmacist if it's possible to get pregnant even if a condom is used, and is shocked to learn that they are not 100% effective. He is later on the balcony at his house dreaming about having a son and being able to spend time with him, and wondering if he would make a good father. He asks Jake if he is a good role model, and Jake says that, because he drinks, gambles and has different women at his house almost every night, he is the best role model a guy could want. Unsure about whether or not the child is his, he goes to Chrissy's apartment and asks her, but she only says that she has got on well without him for the last eight years.

He later goes back and gives Chrissy a check for a large sum and promises to continue making monthly payments, saying it is with no strings attached, but he just wants to know that Chuck will be taken care of. After Charlie leaves, a woman comes to Chrissy's apartment and reveals that Chuck is her son and Chrissy was only her babysitter, revealing that Chrissy deliberately passed the boy off as Charlie's son to con him out of money.

Later, when Charlie and Alan drop Jake off at Judith's, he sees a plumber, a water boy, and a postman who all look like Jake, but Alan is oblivious.

Cast

Guest Starring

  • Martin Mull as Russell
  • Rena Sofer as Chrissy
  • Brendan Patrick Connor as Clive
  • Matt Cates as Craig
  • Aaron Refvem as Chuck
  • Clint Culp as William
  • Meeghan Holaway as Brenda

Quotes

  • Evelyn: Oh sweetheart, take it from me, spending time with one's children is greatly overrated.

  • Alan: Being a father is one of the greatest joys there is.
  • Jake: Hey, Dad, where's the plunger?
  • Alan: Uh, laundry room.
  • Jake: Thanks. I over-wiped.
  • Alan: No such thing, my son. (to Charlie) Where was I?
  • Charlie: The joys of fatherhood.
  • Alan: Right. (Charlie gives him a look) What? There was a time when he didn't wipe at all!

(talking about condoms)

  • Russell: Whenever you're dealing with a manufactured product, there's always gonna be flaws in the process.
  • Charlie: Yeah, but aren't they supposed to be tested before they go out, or in?
  • Russell: Well, sure, but they don't test every one.
  • Charlie: They don't?
  • Russell: Masturbating's looking better and better, huh?

  • Charlie: What I've wanted to ask you is, do you think I've been a good role model?
  • Jake: Are you kidding? You drink, you gamble, you have different women here practically every night. You're the best role model a guy could want!

  • Evelyn: So, Jake, how do you like high school?
  • Jake: I'm in eighth grade.
  • Evelyn: Ah. When do you start high school?
  • Jake: Hard to say. Eighth grade's really kicking my ass.

  • Charlie: (on Jake's texting) Look at him. He can type 80 words a minute with his thumb, but he can't pee without hitting the shower curtain.
  • Alan: Fortunately, typing is a job skill, and peeing is not.

  • Alan: Hey, are you alright?
  • Charlie: No, I'm not.
  • Alan: What's going on?
  • Charlie: Alan, I have always conducted my sex life according to three simple principles: One—if at all possible, ladies first; Two—it is easier to be forgiven than ask permission; and third and most important—the ten seconds it takes to put on a condom beats the hell out of the ten years you have to pretend to like soccer.

  • Alan: (on condoms not being 100% effective) Haven't you read the package?
  • Charlie: Who reads the package? It's not like a cereal box.

Trivia

  • This is the first appearance of Russell (Martin Mull), Charlie's pharmacist.

Title quotation from

Charlie saying that Jake is his and Alan's son, after Alan explains everything to him.

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
PilotBig Flappy BastardsGo East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of HellIf I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A NapThe Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A HumpDid You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeTwenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-fulPhase One, CompleteMerry ThanksgivingAlan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorCamel Filters And PheromonesSarah Like Puny AlanI Can't Afford HyenasRound One To The Hot Crazy ChickThat Was Saliva, AlanAte The Hamburgers, Wearing The HatsAn Old Flame With A New WickI Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouHey, I Can Pee Outside In The DarkNo Sniffing, No WowingMy Doctor Has A Cow PuppetJust Like BuffaloCan You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsPrincipal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverCarpet Burns and a Bite MarkYour Dismissive Attitude Toward BoobsWe Called It Mr. PinkyHi, Mr. Horned OneSleep Tight, Puddin' PopThat Voodoo That I Do DoMadame and Her Special FriendSomething Salted and TwistedSanta's Village of the DamnedThat Special TugHumiliation is a Visual MediumLove Isn't Blind, It's RetardedMy Tongue Is MeatErgo, The Booty CallThe Unfortunate Little SchnauserThe Spit-Covered CobblerGolly Moses, She's a MuffinAlways a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroAnd the Plot MoistensJust Once With Aunt SophieArguments for the QuickieThat Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
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Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and MomMedia Room Slash DungeonDum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCity of Great RacksPutting Swim Fins on a CatHelp Daddy Find His ToenailThe Leather Gear Is in the Guest RoomIs There a Mrs. Waffles?Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsKinda Like NecrophiliaMeander to Your DanderA Little Clammy and None Too FreshThe Soil is MoistWinky-Dink TimeRough Night in Hump JunctionLook at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyFish in a DrawerIf My Hole Could TalkWaiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love ChildPie Hole, HerbDamn You, Eggs BenedictThe Flavin' and the Mavin'A Jock Strap In HellIt's Always Nazi WeekBest H.O. Money Can BuyPinocchio's MouthThe Mooch At The BooHe Smelled The Ham, He Got ExcitedThe Devil's LubeThank God for ScoliosisI Think You Offended DonDavid Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieI'd Like to Start with the CatShe'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeThe 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?My Son's Enormous HeadThe Two Finger RuleHello, I am Alan CousteauAbove Exalted CyclopsSir Lancelot's Litter BoxGood Morning, Mrs. ButterworthBaseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
818-jklpuzoWhipped Unto The Third GenerationMmm, fish. Yum.Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorFor The Sake of The ChildGive Me Your ThumbUntainted by FilthGorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Captain Terry's Spray-On HairThat's Why They Call It "Ball Room"Warning, It's DirtyFart Jokes, Pie and CelesteYay, No Polyps!Crude and Uncalled ForAye, Aye, Captain DoucheTinkle Like a PrincessI Found Your MoustacheIxnay On The Oggie DayKeith Moon Is Vomiting In His GraveI Called Him MagooGumby with a PokeyThis Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtPeople Who Love PeepholesBig Girls Don't Throw FoodNine Magic FingersA Giant Cat Holding a ChurroThe Squat and the HoverThose Fancy Japanese ToiletsThank You For The IntercourseFrodo's HeadshotsA Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesWhat A Lovely Landing StripOne False Move, Zimbabwe!Slowly and In A Circular FashionA Possum on ChemoThe Duchess of Dull-in-SackSips, Sonnets and SodomyNot In My Mouth!The War Against GingivitisPalmdale, EchGrandma's PieMr. Hose Says "Yes"Why We Gave Up WomenThe Straw In My Donut HoleOh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
I Changed My Mind About the MilkA Big Bag of DogFour Balls, Two Bats and One MittYou Do Know What The Lollipop Is ForThat's Not What They Call It In AmsterdamFerrets, Attack!Avoid The Chinese MustardSomething My Gynecologist SaidI Scream When I PeeOne Nut JohnsonGive Santa a Tail-HoleWelcome to AlancrestGrab A Feather And Get In LineRun, Steven Staven! Run!Paint It, Pierce It or Plug ItAdvantage: Fat, Flying BabyThrogwarten Middle School MysteriesThe 9:04 From PembertonBig Episode. Someone Stole A SpoonBazinga! That's From a TV ShowAnother Night With Neil DiamondMy Bodacious VidaliaCows, Prepare to be Tipped
Season 11
NangnangnangnangI Think I Banged Lucille BallThis Unblessed BiscuitClank, Clank, Drunken SkankAlan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003Justice in Star-Spangled Hot PantsSome Kind of Lesbian ZombieMr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.Numero Uno Accidente LawyerOn Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!Tazed In The Lady NutsBaseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.Bite Me, Supreme CourtThree Fingers of Crème de MentheCab Fare and a Bottle of PenicillinHow to Get Rid of Alan HarperWelcome Home, JakeWest Side StoryLan Mao Shi Zai Wuding ShangLotta Delis in Little ArmeniaDial 1-900-Mix-A-LotOh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead
Season 12
The Ol' Mexican SpinachA Chic Bar in IbizaGlamping in a YurtThirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightOontz, Oontz, OontzAlan Shot a Little GirlSex With an Animated Ed AsnerFamily, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyBouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyHere I Come, Pants!For Whom the Booty CallsA Beer-Battered Rip-OffBoompa Loved His HookersDon't Give a Monkey a GunOf Course He's Dead

Start a Discussion Discussions about Taterhead is Our Love Child

  • Who is Jake's cousin?

    8 messages
    • Thanks guys. I'd just found that on the website. But I'm still puzzled by that 'cousin' remark about someone never previou...
    • What's there to be confused about? Jake simply stated he had a cousin. That's it :P

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