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Smooth as a Ken Doll

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Smooth as a Ken Doll
Myra Melnick
Season
Episode
19
Airdate
April 9, 2007
Ratings
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Written by
Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster (teleplay)
Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn (story)
Directed by
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Smooth as a Ken Doll is the 19th episode of season 4. It aired on April 9, 2007.

Summary

Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.

Plot

Alan is ecstatic to go hand Judith her very last alimony check now she's about to marry Herb, but the groom's sister Myra, an economics teacher, is a match for the bitch driving both men to despair, so Alan insists the Harpers take her along to a family movie. Of course she hooks up with Charlie, who insists when Judith finally gets Myra to leave that she must stay in the beach-house, there gets unknown, deep feelings for her and seems to lose his taste for dumb, greedy one-night-stands. Well-known creaking bed-sounds soon prove Jake could have kept his roomAlan is ecstatic to go hand Judith her very last alimony check now she's about to marry Herb, but the groom's sister Mira, an economics teacher, is a match for the bitch driving both men to despair, so Alan insists the Harpers take her along to a family movie. Of course she hooks up with Charlie, who insists when Judith finally gets Myra to leave that she must stay in the beach-house, there gets unknown, deep feelings for her and seems to lose his taste for dumb, greedy one-night-stands. Well-known creaking bed-sounds soon prove Jake could have kept his room.

The plot of this episode continues with the next episode.

Cast

Quotes

  • Charlie: Why do these women insist on getting well? Hey, Alan...
  • Alan: Hang on, Charlie. This is a important moment. Alan J. Harper.
  • Charlie: What's the big deal? It's just an alimony check.
  • Alan: Not an alimony check. This is my final alimony check. Isn't it beautiful?
  • Charlie: Oh, right. Judith is getting married this weekend.
  • Alan: Exactly. And you know what that means.
  • Charlie: You can finally kick in a few bucks around here?
  • Alan: Good one. No. It means Alan gets new underwear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pick up my son and deliver this last drop of blood money to the former Mrs. Alan Harper and soon-to-be Mrs. Herb Melnick. May God have mercy on his soul.
  • Charlie: Amen. So, you want some company?
  • Alan: You want to come with us?
  • Charlie: Hey, why not? I don't have any plans.
  • Alan: You got stood by again, didn't you?
  • Charlie: I'm starting to think all these girls have the same damn shrink.
  • Alan: Alright, well, if you're gonna come, grab your camera. You can take some snapshots of Pharoah Judith letting her Alan go.
  • Charlie: Got the camera right here.
  • Alan; You carry it with you?
  • Charlie: I thought I had a date. It takes video, too.

  • Alan: I got to hand it to you, Charlie. Stopping at the copy place was a great idea.
  • Charlie: And the picture will make a terrific Christmas card.

  • Charlie: You know what? This really isn't that funny.

  • Herb: The Spanish Inquisition was a bad time. This is hell. Come on in.
  • Alan: So, what's going on?

  • Alan: Oh, uh, well, I-I figured as long as I was here, that I would give you your last and final alimony check.
  • Charlie: Got it.
  • Judith: What the hell are you doing?
  • Alan: Just a little souvenir.

  • Jake: Hey, look what I found in the bushes.

Trivia

First appearance of: Judy Greer as Myra Melnick. She would later portray Bridget Schmidt, Walden's estranged wife in season 9

Title quotation from

Berta, explaining Alan's situation after he hangs up on Judith.

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