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Santa's Village of the Damned

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Santa's Village of the Damned
Christmasvillage
Season
Episode
11
Airdate
December 19, 2005
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Santa's Village of the Damned is the 11th episode of season 3. It aired on December 19, 2005.

Summary

Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

Plot

Alan finds a new girlfriend, Sandy- his cooking class teacher. In the first scene Charlie wakes up and thinks that he had a one-night stand with her, but when Alan walks in and kisses and greets her he (Charlie) realises that Alan is with her. He also describes her as a "nester", but she is a great cook and gets Charlie and Alan hooked on to her food. They gain a lot of weight over the course of three months which Charlie shrugs off as "water weight"

Alan leaves to collect Jake from Judith's and tells him that the family will be eating a home cooked meal instead of having their usual christmas meal of Deli or Chinese. He explains he's now seeing Sandy and he can ask any questions. Jake is sceptical about her and doesn't think he'll like her.

When Charlie wakes up from a nap he sees that his house has been transformed in to - what he calls - Santa's Village of the Damned and waits outside to warn Alan and Jake. Jake immidiately becomes a fan of Sandy after she asks Jake to be a food tester for her.

After a huge dinner they go to sing carols where Sandy interrupts to ask who moved the reindeer on Charlie's piano. After an initial denial Charlie admits to using one of them as a swizel stick. Sandy reacts by telling him vehemently that Dasher > Dancer > Prancer > Vixen > Comet > Cupid > Donner > Blitzen is the order they go in. She places a lot of emphasis to Donner, Blitzen and makes him recite it much to Charlie's confusion. 

In bed Alan is wide awake and jolts repeating "Donner, Blitzen" when Sandy snuggles up to him. Sandy remembers that she forgot to put out cookies and milk for Santa, Sandy explains they won't get presents is milk and cookies aren't left out for him. Alan begrudingly leaves the bedroom to put them out and enters Charlie's room to talk to him about what just happened. They go downstairs to eat more pie but find Sandy in the living room staring at nothing switching the christmas decoration lights on and off. Alan questions her about Santa and she realises that her mom was right and that she had been a naughty girl. She calls Alan to the bedroom, Alan just stays next to Charlie not wanting to take advantage of her, but when Sandy walks back out in christmas themed underwear he quickly changes his mind. 

Charlie and Jake escape to Evelyn's because "the walls are impressionable" interrupting Evelyn's booty call.

Cast 

Title quotation from

Charlie, after seeing his own house decorated by Alan's girlfriend.

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
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Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
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Season 4
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Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and MomMedia Room Slash DungeonDum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCity of Great RacksPutting Swim Fins on a CatHelp Daddy Find His ToenailThe Leather Gear Is in the Guest RoomIs There a Mrs. Waffles?Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsKinda Like NecrophiliaMeander to Your DanderA Little Clammy and None Too FreshThe Soil is MoistWinky-Dink TimeRough Night in Hump JunctionLook at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyFish in a DrawerIf My Hole Could TalkWaiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love ChildPie Hole, HerbDamn You, Eggs BenedictThe Flavin' and the Mavin'A Jock Strap In HellIt's Always Nazi WeekBest H.O. Money Can BuyPinocchio's MouthThe Mooch At The BooHe Smelled The Ham, He Got ExcitedThe Devil's LubeThank God for ScoliosisI Think You Offended DonDavid Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieI'd Like to Start with the CatShe'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeThe 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?My Son's Enormous HeadThe Two Finger RuleHello, I am Alan CousteauAbove Exalted CyclopsSir Lancelot's Litter BoxGood Morning, Mrs. ButterworthBaseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
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Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
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Season 10
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Season 11
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Season 12
The Ol' Mexican SpinachA Chic Bar in IbizaGlamping in a YurtThirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightOontz, Oontz, OontzAlan Shot a Little GirlSex With an Animated Ed AsnerFamily, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyBouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyHere I Come, Pants!For Whom the Booty CallsA Beer-Battered Rip-OffBoompa Loved His HookersDon't Give a Monkey a GunOf Course He's Dead

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