Santa's Village of the Damned
December 19, 2005
Santa's Village of the Damned
is the 11th episode of season 3. It aired on December 19, 2005.
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
Plot Alan finds a new girlfriend, Sandy- his cooking class teacher. In the first scene Charlie wakes up and thinks that he had a one-night stand with her, but when Alan walks in and kisses and greets her he (Charlie) realises that Alan is with her. He also describes her as a "nester", but she is a great cook and gets Charlie and Alan hooked on to her food. They gain a lot of weight over the course of three months which Charlie shrugs off as "water weight"
Alan leaves to collect Jake from Judith's and tells him that the family will be eating a home cooked meal instead of having their usual christmas meal of Deli or Chinese. He explains he's now seeing Sandy and he can ask any questions. Jake is sceptical about her and doesn't think he'll like her.
When Charlie wakes up from a nap he sees that his house has been transformed in to - what he calls - Santa's Village of the Damned and waits outside to warn Alan and Jake. Jake immidiately becomes a fan of Sandy after she asks Jake to be a food tester for her.
After a huge dinner they go to sing carols where Sandy interrupts to ask who moved the reindeer on Charlie's piano. After an initial denial Charlie admits to using one of them as a swizel stick. Sandy reacts by telling him vehemently that Dasher > Dancer > Prancer > Vixen > Comet > Cupid > Donner > Blitzen is the order they go in. She places a lot of emphasis to Donner, Blitzen and makes him recite it much to Charlie's confusion.
In bed Alan is wide awake and jolts repeating "Donner, Blitzen" when Sandy snuggles up to him. Sandy remembers that she forgot to put out cookies and milk for Santa, Sandy explains they won't get presents is milk and cookies aren't left out for him. Alan begrudingly leaves the bedroom to put them out and enters Charlie's room to talk to him about what just happened. They go downstairs to eat more pie but find Sandy in the living room staring at nothing switching the christmas decoration lights on and off. Alan questions her about Santa and she realises that her mom was right and that she had been a naughty girl. She calls Alan to the bedroom, Alan just stays next to Charlie not wanting to take advantage of her, but when Sandy walks back out in christmas themed underwear he quickly changes his mind.
Charlie and Jake escape to Evelyn's because "the walls are impressionable" interrupting Evelyn's booty call.
Title quotation from
Charlie, after seeing his own house decorated by Alan's girlfriend.
Two and a Half Men
Pilot • Big Flappy Bastards • Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell • If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap • The Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A Hump • Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys? • If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake • Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-ful • Phase One, Complete • Merry Thanksgiving • Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor • Camel Filters And Pheromones • Sarah Like Puny Alan • I Can't Afford Hyenas • Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick • That Was Saliva, Alan • Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats • An Old Flame With A New Wick • I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You • Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark • No Sniffing, No Wowing • My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet • Just Like Buffalo • Can You Feel My Finger?
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