This article contains episode summaries for the first season of Two and a Half Men.
In the U.S., original episodes of season one aired from Monday, September 22, 2003 to Monday, May 24, 2004. The season consisted of a total of 24 episodes.
Charlie Harper is a bachelor in paradise, complete with Malibu beach house, overpaid job and a very active dating life. Then his uptight brother Alan, in the throes of a divorce, moves in - and brings his 10-year-old son Jake with him. Sorry, Charlie. It looks like paradise lost.
Starring Charlie Sheen as Charlie and Jon Cryer as Alan. As the brothers reestablish a sense of family, Charlie also bonds with Jake (Angus T. Jones). Holland Taylor (Evelyn Harper) is the guys' domineering mother, Marin Hinkle (Judith Harper) is Alan's icy ex and Melanie Lynskey is Rose, who thinks one date with Charlie means lifelong commitment. Meet the Harper men - two adults, one kid and no grown-ups.
- Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper (24 episodes)
- Jon Cryer as Alan Harper (24 episodes)
- Angus T. Jones as Jake Harper (24 episodes)
- Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper (16 episodes)
- Melanie Lynskey as Rose (15 episodes)
- and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper (15 episodes)
Recurring Guest Stars
Awards & Nominations:
The show was nominated for three Primetime Emmy Awards but lost all three of them. The show won the People's Choice Awards for Best New Comedy Series and was nominated for two Young Artist Awards for Best Family Television Series (Comedy or Drama) and for Best Performance in a TV series (Comedy or Drama) and won one for Angus T. Jones for playing Jake Harper. It won the ASCAP award for Top TV Series and it also won BMI Film and TV Award for Best Music in TV. It was also nominated Casting Society of America for the casting of a series.
|Image||Title||Air Date||#||Summary||Title quotation from|
|Pilot||September 22, 2003||1.01||Charlie's life is turned upside down when Alan and his son, Jake, move in with him.|
|Big Flappy Bastards||September 29, 2003||1.02||Charlie begins to learn how to parent Jake while Alan attempts to get Judith back.||Charlie|
|Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell||October 6, 2003||1.03||Alan fears he is losing his son so he goes drinking with Charlie.||Charlie|
|If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap||October 13, 2003||1.04||Alan has trouble with Berta and Charlie needs to get Jake and Rose to follow his suggestions.||Charlie|
|The Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A Hump||October 20, 2003||1.05||Jake's soccer league leads to Alan and Charlie having encounters with some sexy soccer moms.||Alan|
|Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?||October 27, 2003||1.06||Charlie and Evelyn are dating members of the same family.||Charlie|
|If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake||November 3, 2003||1.07||Judith gets worried when Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of a female surfer friend of Charlie's who walks around his place half naked. Alan feels concern for Judith when she befriends the surfer girl.||Charlie|
|Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-ful||November 10, 2003||1.08||Alan tricks Charlie into joining he and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.||Charlie|
|Phase One, Complete||November 17, 2003||1.09||Charlie wants to dump a female friend that Jake has grown close to. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.||Rose|
|Merry Thanksgiving||November 24, 2003||1.10||In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner.||Charlie|
|Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor||December 15, 2003||1.11||While at the movies, the brothers bump into Judith and her new boyfriend prompting Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene.||Alan|
|Camel Filters And Pheromones||January 4, 2004||1.12||When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.||Berta|
|Sarah Like Puny Alan||Jannuary 12, 2004||1.13||Needing him for a double date with a pair of sisters, Charlie tries to nurse a flu-ridden Alan back to health.||Alan|
|I Can't Afford Hyenas||February 2, 2004||1.14||Stan, Charlie's accountant, tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him.||Charlie|
|Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick||February 9, 2004||1.15||Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie.||Charlie|
|That Was Saliva, Alan||February 16, 2004||1.16||Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.||Charlie|
|Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats||February 23, 2004||1.17||Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.||Charlie|
|An Old Flame With A New Wick||March 1, 2004||1.18||Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man... and dating his mom.||Berta|
|I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You||March 22, 2004||1.19||Judith's sister, Liz, hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.||Liz|
|Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark||April 19, 2004||1.20||Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parents' divorce after he starts annoying everyone with his non-stop guitar playing.||Alan|
|No Sniffing, No Wowing||May 3, 2004||1.21||Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura.||Alan|
|My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet||May 10, 2004||1.22||Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees his therapist.||Jake|
|Just Like Buffalo||May 17, 2004||1.23||Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.||Charlie|
|Can You Feel My Finger?||May 24, 2004||1.24||A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.||Dr. Andrew Sperlock|