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On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

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On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
December 12, 2013
Running time
Production code
Flash sideways
Also Starring
Special Guest Star(s)
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Archive footage

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! is the 10th episode of Season 11. It aired on December 12, 2013.


Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a one-night stand and Alan’s transgender girlfriend’s ex-wife hits on him. Meanwhile, Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy and Walden's beach house comes alive with questionable Christmas carol lyrics.


Jenny hooks up with a bikini wax technician named Brooke who catches Jenny's heart, but gives her a fake phone number. Walden visits Brooke's salon to get a painful wax, but gets Brooke to promise to call Jenny.

Alan is still with Paula who introduces Alan to her former wife of 20 years, Rachel. Rachel starts coming onto Alan who initially refuses. After Alan finds out that he and Paula are not exclusive, he unknowingly takes Rachel to the same bar that Paula visits every Friday. Paula is pissed off to see them both together. They discover that they still have feelings for each other and that Rachel was going out with Alan only to make her jealous and then they get back together in a lesbian relationship.

The night of their date Jenny gets bombed and then Brooke shows up bombed because she usually never does second dates and passes out on the couch with Jenny. 

Walden narrates that Alan is sleeping with lesbian dreams of Paula and Rachel. Jenny and Brooke slept together. While he and Berta are busy getting stoned.


Title Quotation From

Jenny, when she was mixing up herself a pitcher of alcohol drinks.

Guest Starring

  • Paula Marshall as Paula
  • Diane Farr as Rachel
  • Aly Michalka as Brooke


  • Alan: I had the craziest day at the mall today.
    Paula: You heard me about the overtime, right?
    Alan: You heard me about the mall, right?
  • Brooke: Don’t I recognize you? Are you the guy who chased me out of his house because he caught me banging his wife? Because she came on to me.
  • Brooke: I don’t know, I usually try to keep it casual. Lesbians get really emotional, and somebody always ends up screaming or crying.
  • Alan: I gotta say, the guy who sculpted your hoo-ha is an artist.
  • Jenny: I’ve tried on like a million outfits! Butch, femme, lipstick, pixie… There was even a dark moment where I was wearing one of Alan’s polos!
  • Jenny: WWJD—What would Jenny drink?
  • Walden: You drank that whole bottle by yourself?
    Brooke: It’s OK, I’m going to eat later.
  • Walden: 'Twas the night before Christmas when all down the beach not a creature was stirring, not even a leech. Alan was nestled, all snug in his bed, while visions of lesbians danced in his head. Brooke and Jenny were sleeping, a long winter's nap, surrounded by bottles with nary a cap. Jenny was nervous and frightened, but took a big chance. She let Brooke in her heart, as well as her pants. While Berta in her vest and I in my hattie had just baked our brains out with a big Christmas fatty. We started to doze, we hadn't a care. Happy Christmas to all. My balls have no hair.


Although Jake has been mentioned several times in Season 11, he has a cameo for the first time in this season, albeit in the form of a letter only.

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