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|Dolores to Charlie|
Miss. Dolores Pasternak was a teacher that suspended Jake for giving her the finger. Charlie began dating her, and she not only lifted the suspension but began giving Jake good grades without properly earning them. Charlie ended up dumping her upon the realization she was mentally ill. She was not seen until season six, which in the mean time she lost her job and teaching license, had to move into a motel, and her parent's disowned her. She was forced to take a job as a stripper. Charlie, Alan, and Jake run into Dolores at a store where Charlie learns everything and feels guilty. Charlie and Alan went to the strip club she worked at and convinced her to live with them until she finds a home, and gave her a job tutoring Jake. Though at first it was working out well, she believed Charlie was an angel sent by god to save her. She becomes a fundamentalist Christian and forces the Harpers and Berta to go to church with her. There she revealed to Charlie they should get married. Charlie dumped her again, causing her to revert, and according to Alan, "stole all the dollars out of the collection plate and started grinding on the minister." When Charlie took marijuana he envisioned several ex-girlfriends, among them Miss Pasternak.
In the Season 9 premiere, Miss Pasternak was present at Charlie's funeral.
- She is played by Missi Pyle on every appearance except "A Jock Strap In Hell" where she is played by Alicia Witt.
- She is named ostensibly after Russian writer B.Pasternak and Dolores, "Lolita", the main character of the novel named this way from also Russian writer V.Nabokov.
- Her professional dancer/stripper name is "Desiree Bush".
- At Charlie's funeral, she revealed that Charlie used her panties to make tea.