Melissa is Alan's former receptionist and girlfriend.
She served as his receptionist for most of season 6 and is shown to have a perky demeanor. Before she dated Alan, she had dated Charlie in "The Flavin' And The Mavin'", which ended disastrously with her driving angrily and fast in a heavy rainstorm on the way to Alan's office and Alan being forced to give her a raise and health insurance. After recovering from her breakdown, Melissa starts to fall for Alan, but he is also introduced to her mother, which complicates things especially after Melissa catches them in bed together in "David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie".
Since then, Melissa has been working in the hospital where Judith gave birth in "Baseball Was Better With Steroids" to try and forget about him. However, her feelings for Alan return while Judith is giving birth, and they end up making out in the storage closet. In the season 7 premiere "818-jklpuzo", Melissa appears to have moved into the Harper beach house; when Charlie reminds Alan, he is quick to deny it.
In "Whipped Unto The Third Generation", after being forced by Chelsea, Charlie lets Melissa stay. When Alan and Melissa take advantage of Charlie's generosity, Charlie stays the night at a hotel. Alan is quick to join him when Chelsea and Melissa do not obey his commands. Alan and Charlie turn to Evelyn, who reveals that Melissa and Charlie slept together, making Chelsea and Melissa end their friendship, and Melissa moves out, promising never to return to Charlie's house again.
In "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator", Melissa is tired of Alan's cheapness and the fact that he doesn't have his own place. Alan then decides to take a job as Evelyn's assistant to earn some extra money. When showing a partically nice house, Evelyn informes Alan that the couple that own the place have houses all over the country and probably don't even remember that this one is here. Alan uses this to his favor by inviting Melissa over to the house that night and lies by telling her that he has rented it. As to not leave any trace, Alan (although he doesn't tell her) suggests that they have sex on a beach towel on the living room floor. After, they accidentally spill wine on the carpet and Alan starts a fight since they weren't supposed to be there. They make up, however but are then forced to flee in their underwear by Alan when Evelyn arrives with potential buyers. When they are caught by the cops outside, Melissa quickly runs away, leaving Alan to deal with the cops. It is implied that due to this incident Melissa and Alan are broken up (or as Alan puts it, "You could say I dumped Melissa and decided she never wants to see me again for as long as she lives"). Alan has since gone on other dates, including one with a grossly overweight woman to an L.A. Dodgers game and another that ended with him boring his date and then punching out the rude jerk who was successfully getting her to end the date and go off with him.
She came back in Season 8 and continued to get together with Alan even though Alan moved in with Lyndsey. When Alan told her it was over (via text message) she went over to Charlie's house and Charlie told her that Alan was at Lyndsey's. It's unknown what happened to her after that.
- "The Flavin' and the Mavin'"
- "He Smelled The Ham, He Got Excited"
- "Thank God for Scoliosis"
- "David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie"
- "Baseball Was Better With Steroids"
- "Whipped Unto The Third Generation"
- "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator"
- "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer"
- "A Pudding-Filled Cactus"