- "Who's your daughter?"
- ―Jake to Alan
|Jacob David "Jake" Harper|
Jake Harper as he appears in Season 10.
|Birth||March 14, 1994 (age 19)|
|Family||Alan Harper - Father|
Judith Harper-Melnick- Mother
|Portrayed By||Angus T. Jones|
Brendan Patrick Connor (Adult Jake in Season 4)
Jake is the son of Alan and Judith Harper, nephew of Charlie Harper and former step-son of Herb Melnick and Kandi. A recurring theme with his character is having really low grades and eating a lot, as he's lazy. He is the butt of many jokes in the show due to his general lack of smarts, understanding of a word, and self confidence, as well as being oblivious to the fact he is being made fun of.
While Jake is one of the four central characters, he is featured less than Charlie, Alan and Walden (Season 9) and there have been some episodes where he is not in any central storyline and is only heard from briefly. Alan once told a date that his ex-wife Judith has primary custody of Jake, which explains where Jake is when he's not around his father and uncle.
Throughout the sixth season no one knows that Jake found out what happened between Alan and Judith---except Charlie---because Jake wanted to make sure it wasn't the truth but Charlie told him it was. Jake thinks it's cool because he wants to see Judith's reaction if his half sister is his full sister.Jake can also play the guitar. Originally it was a form of rebellion, but it eventually became a hobby. When he first introduced his guitar skills into the show he wasn't very good, but he has drastically improved as he helped Charlie Harper to write a song for a Japanese kids' T.V. show in exchange for cliff notes for his book report on Lord of the Flies.
Jake, in Season 1 was much different from his personality in the following seasons. He was a healthy weight, kind, charming, and was very similar to a sterotypical American kid. He was also a lot more innocent. Charlie even began questioning his lifestyle after a few days. Although he disliked Charlie's lifestyle, Alan chose him over Evelyn, not wanting him to turn out like they did. Jake realized his parents were divorcing, but treated it casually.
In Season 2, Jake began to become his lazy, big-headed self. He becomes heavier, becomes lazy, and becomes a little dense.
In Season 3 Jake starts to get a little more rude towards Alan and Judith. In "Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnists" where Judith told him to watch his mouth Jake replied," I can't watch it, it's under my nose".
In "Principal Gallacher's Lesbian lover", Jake gets suspended from school for making fun of a girl with big breasts. In "The Voodoo that I do", he is forced to take ballet lessons just so Charlie can get closer to Mia the instructor. Throughout the season Jake becomes close to Kandi, Alan's girlfriend who he would marry and later get divorced from going so far as to ask Alan if "Kandi took a poop it would be [his] step-stool".
In Season 4, Jake starts to spend less and less time with Alan. In "It Never Rains in Hooterville" he hangs posters of women in bikinis in his room and Alan, upon realising Jake is growing up, takes him on a camping trip against his will. Alan starts to worry about Jake's future, in "Corey's Been Dead for an Hour" he has a nightmare where he and Jake in the future are working at a cinema and Jake constantly eats the popcorn. In "Release the Dogs", in which he has problems sleeping, he says about Jake," He's growing up, getting a life of his own. He'll be going off to college soon. I'll only see him on holidays, only hear from him when he needs money... not that I'll have any, I'll still be paying alimony to two ex-wives! And college tuition? That just means selling an organ or turning tricks. And for what? So that he can get a worthless piece of paper that he can then fold into a hat to wear to the fast food job that he will probably get fired from for stealing fries from the customers' bags!"
In Season 5, Jake starts junior high after it was decided that "it was in everyone's best interest that he moves on" from elementary. He cuts school on his first day after Charlie and Alan filled his mind with horrible things to avoid at school, as well as being bought old man shoes and only beige clothing for school. He continues becoming further from Alan. In one episode he refuses to go to the movies with Alan, only suggesting he drops him off. When Alan asks him," So basically, you'll go to the movies with anyone except me". Jake replies," I wouldn't go with Hitler".Season 6. Aside from going through puberty, his voice becomes notably deeper, his hair gets longer and paler, and he become taller and thinner, although retaining his enormous appetite. He also starts to get involved in more mature things such as helping Alan carry a half-naked unconcious woman ("She'll still be dead at half time") and drinking alcohol ("Damn you, eggs Benedict") and Charlie started to insult him more.
In Season 7, Jake had became quite far away from Alan and Charlie and hardly acted at all like himself in previous seasons, becoming immature and stating, "I'm in the awkward years". At the end of the season, Jake becomes friends with Eldridge, and they sneak out of the beach house and steal Charlie's beer. Alan was very upset with Jake but let it go when he met Eldridge's mom, whom he later began dating, with Jake and Eldridge unaware until later.
Not Long ago after Jake made friends with Eldridge, a kid who hates his parents and plays drums, he is always thinking of things to do and they usually get him into trouble. Jake recently found out his dad was dating Eldridge's mom and after he found out told Alan and Charlie he wanted to live with Judith and Herb, Alan however promised Jake he wouldn't keep secrets from him anymore and came to live with him and Charlie again. Alan thought Eldridge was a bad influence on Jake for convincing him to steal beer from Charlie, get drunk, and sneak out when grounded, but lets it slide when he dates Eldridge's divorced mother Lyndsey. The kids don't learn about the relationship until much later. Eldridge and Jake were both against the relationship, especially upon the decision to move in together. Charlie bribes them with money so as to get Alan out of the house. After the house is burnt down, Eldridge, his mom, Alan, and Jake, all move in with Charlie. Eldridge and Lyndsey move out when Chris McElroy, Eldridge's dad, reunites with his mom. A few episodes later, he went over to Charlie's to see Courtney try on dresses with Jake.
In the premiere, "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt", Jake plays a minor role, and only appeared in 3 scenes, and in each he had little to no dialogue. He did not show much (if any) sorrow about Charlie's death and after Rose uses the term "balloon full of meat" when describing unit Charlie's death he starts to get hungry, asking the deeply saddened Alan and Evelyn, "I'm hungry. Anyone else hungry?". However, it can be assumed that Jake was only trying to lighten the shocking moment because he care more about food than his uncle's death. Jake is absent for the rest of the episode, until the final scene when Judith drops him off at the late Charlie's beach house and they see a naked Walden Schmidt hugging Alan, Alan then introduces him to Judith and Jake and tells them he's buying the house, Judith approves of Walden and his intention of buying the late [[Charlie}]'s beach house.
In "Big Girls Don't Throw Food", Walden allows Jake to stay at Charlie's beach house as well as Alan but they must share one room, which Jake does not want to sleep in the same room with Alan. Jake gets influenced by Walden to leave school and start his own buisness, telling Jake he had skipped part of high school and college, starting his internet work, and had made his first million when he was 19. This was Jake's first major appearance of the season due to developing Alan and Walden's relationship. When Judith finds out about Jake dropping out of school, she drops by Charlie (now Walden's) Malibu Beach House to discuss Walden's influence on Jake about Jake's dropping out of school but ends up kissing him, Not knowing that Jake was fliming the whole ordeal. Jake was still planning to quit high school.
In "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets", it is heavily implied that Jake loses his virginity to his chemistry tutor, Megan, due to her becoming extremely horny from looking at Walden. Though it can be believed that they were just making out as shown in the following episode. However Jake was extremely grateful which isn't something Jake would do. Jake later mentions in "Frodo's Headshots", that they have never had sex, after Alan has a nightmare where he dreamed Jake had got Megan pregnant.
While having a heart-to-heart talk with Alan, Jake finally admits that he does love and miss Charlie in "Thank You For The Intercourse". He and Walden were worried about Alan when he was acting like his Uncle Charlie.
In "Not In My Mouth!", Jake has sex with Zoey's slutty neighbor, and tells a friend (presumably, Eldridge) over the phone that he had sex with the woman five times in half-an-hour. It is unknown if Jake was still a virgin, prior to this.
Jake frequently and habitually smoked marijuana with his best friend, Eldridge.
After graduating from high school, he and Eldridge try working in a control room run by Walden and Billy's company, but download too much porn, causing a virus to infect all the hard drives and crash the server. They sign up for the army afterwords, and are seen struggling in army boot-camp. Jake's role has also been partly shared with Eldridge now, and mainly only appears with him now.
in I Changed My Mind About the Milk, Jake and Eldridge have joined the army. Jake dates one of Walden's family friend's daughter, Missi. The two have a casual sex relationship for two episodes but Missi dumps him when he says he wants a serious relationship.
Jake starts dating a 36 year old woman with three kids (one which is older than Jake). Jake and Tammy Sue almost elope in Vegas, but they call it off at the last minute and continue to date. Tammy secretly tells Alan that she never plans to marry Jake which relieves Alan.
Notable love interests Edit
Joanie is the daughter of Frankie, a single mother on the run from her In-Laws after her husband’s death during season 1. While Frankie was aided by Alan and Charlie at their house, Joanie developed an instant crush on Jake. She tried to pursue her crush by playing games with Jake, and having the same choice of lunch as his. Jake, however, did not return her feelings, when Joanie kissed him bye, he responded by “Oh Man!” and cleaning her kissed spot from his hand.
Unseen in the series, Robin Newberry was a classmate of Jake in season 3. She had a crush on Jake, showing her feelings by giving him cupcakes. Jake turned to Charlie for advice regarding an appropriate response, to which Charlie told him to enjoy the cupcakes without any obligation to like her back. Alan considered it as a wrong advice, and asked Jake not to do so. Jake went on to become exclusive with Robin in order to get daily cupcakes. When Robin dumped him, he learned to bake cupcakes himself.
Another unseen character, Wendy was Jake's first real girlfriend. First mentioned by Jake as the smartest girl in his class, their relationship began at Wendy's party in season 3's ‘Just Once With Aunt Sophie' after Charlie gave Jake advice on how to approach her. She broke up with him in season 4's ‘A Pot Smoking Monkey’; due to the differences in their academic abilities.
Seen in season 4's ‘Release the Dogs’, Taylor was a friend of Jake’s on whom he had a crush on. He invited her over for a play date. However, their relationship was made awkward when Charlie meet and went out with Taylor's mom, even though he had promised Jake otherwise.
Featured in season 4's ‘Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous’, Sophie is the daughter of Greg, Alan’s gay friend. The pair is taken by their parents on movies and boating. Sophie is shown to be attracted to Jake too, as she openly wants to kiss him, but Jake’s lack of intelligence prevents it. They presumably stopped seeing each other because Jake accused Alan of "breaking up with" Greg after the latter found Charlie "attractive."
Dubbed the ‘hottest girl in Jake's class’, Nicole is mentioned in season 5's ‘Kinda Like Necrophilia’. Jake asks her out when Charlie advises so, and though initially confused as to who he was, Nicole accepts to go out with Jake. In season 7's ‘Fart Jokes, Pie And Celeste’, a girl referred to only as Nicole calls Jake and invites him down to the pier after she hears he broke up with Celeste. It is unknown if this is Nicole O'Malley; Jake tells Alan he doesn't know who she is, but it's possible he simply doesn't remember her. In season 7’s ‘Tinkle like a Princess’, Jake is seen on Charlie's deck with a girl named Nicole, who claimed they were dating but its unknown if she was the same Nicole.
Celeste was Jake’s first girlfriend who lasted a little longer than others. She was first featured in season 6, when she moved in with her father in Charlie’s neighborhood. Later, Jake goes out on a date with her. She later appears in season 7, once seen controlling Jake, and later breaking-off with him when Jake cheats with her during Christmas, though that was due to Charlie’s ill advice.
Tiffany & JoanneEdit
Two different girls shown during season 8, it is highly possible that Jake had his first adult relation with them. Caught sneaking out from Charlie’s home first, they are later seen by Charlie sneaking out from Judith’s home too, implying that Jake was with them both.
Megan is introduced in Season 8, who is with Jake, but leaves presumbaly due to Charlie’s drunken behavior. She later appears in Season 9 after Charlie's death as Jake’s chemistry tutor in Thank You For The Intercourse, and seemingly gets attracted to Walden, but when she couldn’t get him, she shows the same feelings to Jake. They seemingly start a relationship. It is assumed that she and Jake are no longer together, as he had sex with a older woman named Jennifer in "Not In My Mouth!".
A sleazy, older woman who lives in Zoey's building, who appears in "Not In My Mouth!". Walden attempts to begin a new relationship with her after he felt as though Zoey didnt love him, but she ends up sleeping with Jake. Throughout the episode, kept trying to seduce her but each time he made the situation awkward, and she seemed to not be interested. In the episode's ending scene, this is proven wrong, as Jennifer is seen in her panties and a T-shirt (presumably belonging to one of the males), and Jake reveals over the phone that he had sex with her five times, in a 30 minute period .
Dated Jake they broke up because Jake said to her she is old.
In You Know What The Lollipop Is For when Missi visites Walden's beach house, Jake returns for one weekend to the beach house and he inmediately become interested in Missi. They walk around in the beach and they kissed. They have sex and Jake thinks he and she began a relationship, until Missi reveals that she has a boyfriend so they broke up. Missi re-appears in Avoid The Chinese Mustard when they comeback together, but Jake is forced to go back to the army, so Jake planned to escape with her because he thinks they love each other, but they broke up again because Missi couldn't say that she love him.
A 36 year old woman that Jake met when he walked into a tattoo store, called Tammy's Tatties, owned by Tammy
Ashley is Tammy's 18 year old daughter, who Jake cheated on Tammy with. Tammy gets angry and confronts Jake, but Ashley later shows up and reunites with him. She leaves at the end of the episode when she agrees to marry her older ex-boyfriend with the promise of a new car. She is portrayed by Emily Osment.
Note: During the episode, Walden refers to Ashley as "Hannah Montana." Emily Osment had a main role on Hannah Montana playing Lily Truscott. She co-starred along with Miley Cyrus, who played Missi in "You Do Know What The Lollipop's For" and "Avoid The Chinese Mustard."
He is a reasonably nice kid but is largely unmotivated, underachieving and not incredibly bright. He seems to care very much about other people, such as when he went into a deep depression after he got dumped by Celeste or his father's second divorce (saying "I love you"), though he didn't show at first he admitted missing Charlie. He is also quick to people for a very small price and claims money can buy love.
He also seems to be becoming less fond of his father, seeing him as a shameless leech manipulating Walden for his own ends and being overly cheap.
Despite his casual nature, Jake is very philosophical, understanding that Charlie's lifestyle would not be something good to imitate and how he should strive to be better than he was...and Alan, citing how he doesnt want to end up like either of them.
- It is unknown when Jake lost his virginity. It's most likely to be in Season 8 episode 1 with 2 girls Tiffany and Joanne, both girls were caught leaving Jake's room later Jake denied having intercourse with them claiming they were just surf buddies and he slept on the floor while they slept on his bed, later in the episode Charlie sees them leave Judith and Herb's house (which is no where near the beach) thus proving Jake was lying. It could have also been with Jennifer, Zoey's slutty neighbour in Not In My Mouth!
- Jake was absent in 3 episodes on Two and a Half Men 1 episode in Season 8 and 2 episodes in Season 9.
- After meeting Eldridge, Jake began smoking pot.
- It is rumored that in Season 10, Jake will be dating a character portrayed by Miley Cyrus.
- In the Season 2 episode of Two and a Half Men, "The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance", a Plank plush toy can be seen on Jake's bed. This could mean Jake likes to watch Ed, Edd n Eddy.
Alan Harper - Biological Father
Judith Harper-Melnick - Biological Mother
Mildred "Milly" Melnick - Sister/Half-Sister
Frank Harper - Paternal Grandfather (deceased)
Evelyn Harper - Paternal Grandmother
Sheldon - Maternal Grandfather
Lenore - Maternal Grandmother
Charlie Harper - Uncle (deceased)
Liz - Maternal Aunt
Betty - Maternal Aunt
Myra - Step Aunt
Gloria - Possible Half Aunt
Herb Melnick - Stepfather
Kandi - Former Stepmother
Walden Schmidt - Foster Uncle/Family Friend