You cheating bastard!
|Evelyn to Teddy|
Evelyn Nora Harper, (aka Satan), is Charlie and Alan's conceited and self-centered bisexual mother and the grandmother of Jake and Jenny. She expresses a superficial fondness for her sons and grandson when she's obligated to, but rarely lives up to her act of a devoted, but misunderstood, matriarch. Her sons and grandson generally return the favor and go out of their way to avoid interacting with her on most occasions. She has been married an innumerable number of times, tending to marry rich men who leave her large amounts of money when they invariably pass away. She is 63 year old.
At the start of the series when Alan gets kicked and has to move in with Evelyn, Charlie insists that she not ruin Jake as she did to her sons, and Alan moves out of her house and into Charlie's beach house.
Once, Charlie's ex-boyfriend (being female during their relationship), had a sex change, he came back and started dating his mother, much to everyone's horror. Her wide-ranging sex life is a recurring gag throughout the series. Her latest romance ended disastrously when her new husband (Teddy) had a heart attack while sleeping with his "daughter," only for the police to reveal that Teddy was a con artist who had planned to steal all of Evelyn's money and share it with the young woman, who was his much younger partner and lover.
Charlie once tried to set Evelyn up on a date with Russell on her birthday, but Russell showed up at her birthday party with a thirty-year old woman named Jill. Evelyn instead prefers Jill, and has sex with the woman in Alan's shower, which greatly disgusts and horrifies Charlie and Alan.
In "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt", Evelyn is present at Charlie's funeral, visibly hurt and saddened over his death. Despite their mutual dislike for one another, she admits that she loved her son and is devastated that he's gone, though she continuously mentions her intentions on selling his house in middle of service. She fails to sell Charlie's house but Alan does.
In "Those Fancy Japanese Toliets", she is hired by Walden to redecorate the house (after stealing a valuable watch from Charlie's bank deposit box that Alan could have pawned to help with his financial problems) and gives Charlie's diary to Alan. Thinking of nothing else but having sex with Walden, Evelyn hardly paid attention to what he said. When they arrived at her home for a drink, noone knows how, but she managed to succeed in her wicked plans.
In "Frodo's Headshots", during Alan's dream he goes to her and asks to stay with her, but she rejects him by pretending to be a foreign housekeeper (via Security cam.).
In "One False Move, Zimbwawe!"she was unable to attend the first Christmas without Charlie at the beach house with Alan, Walden and Robin due to being in a "sandwich" with two gentlemen.
In "Palmdale, Ech" Alan invites Evelyn to have dinner with his girlfriend Lyndsey McElroy and her mother. They don't seem to get on, but they end up getting along and end up sleeping together and their relationship continues in "Grandma's Pie".
Evelyn only made 9 appearances in the ninth season, and just one appearance in the tenth season. Regardless, she's still credited as a regular cast member. She made 4 appearances in the eleventh season.
Evelyn's main traits are her cynicism, manipulative nature and how she thinks she should be informed about any changes regarding her family. She really cares about her sons (even if she can be rather cold and callous) and she disapproves of Charlie's gambling, womanising and him getting drunk. She is often called evil by her sons such as, Charlie calling her "Satan" on multiple occasions and Alan calling her "the queen of darkness" on one occasion.
Her sons have an intense dislike for her (especially Charlie), and refer to her as cold, insufferable, destructive, and "the devil." Charlie keeps her phone number on speed dial as "666. Cute, huh?" and when asked if he knew her favorite perfume, he asked a store clerk if she carried "Chanel No. 666". Once she showed up in a black cloak with a Grim Reaper-like staff. Alan asked "Who is it?" and Charlie replied, "It's death." Alan then called out, "Hi, Mom!"
She is bisexual as she was shown to have dated a woman after her first husband died and has passionate sex in Alan's shower (unseen) with a much younger woman named Jill in Season 8's Springtime on a Stick. She has had sexual relationship with many people, at least 37 people that promised Alan to not sleep with her (36+Walden).
She is extremely greedy, demanding a commission from Alan when he buys a condo with Kandi and another one for selling Charlie's house after his death. She also took a 100 thousand dollar watch Charlie had stashed in his secret safe deposit box and even denied taking it. She is said to have plenty of her own money which further increases her greed.
- Evelyn's middle name is Nora.
- Charlie was a planned child, while Alan was the unplanned child. Evelyn told Alan that he was "two pitchers of margaritas and a gas station condom." However it was said in the episode 'Warning, It's Dirty', she says that forty years ago, Charlie asked for a little brother for Christmas, which makes it unclear whether Alan was unplanned or not. It is possible that Evelyn wasn't going to acknowledge Charlie's request. In "One False Move, Zimbabwe!", Alan says she told him "the only reason she got pregnant, was because she didn't want to smear her lipstick."
- Evelyn doesn't know that Milly could be her granddaughter, and Alan doesn't want her to know because she will try to stick her nose into it.
- Business has slowed down for Evelyn since Charlie's death.
- Evelyn was originally played by Blythe Danner in the unaired pilot. She was recast when she started suggesting changes.
- In Season 10, she only appeared in 1 episode. In Season 11, she appeared in 4 episodes.
- Evelyn has been married 6 times. She is currently married to Marty Pepper.
- In the first season, Evelyn is 58 years old.
- Evelyn has been widowed five times, with her fifth marriage being the shortest as he died an hour after saying their vows.
- Evelyn has a vibrator named after Michael Bolton.