Most chicks won't eat veal.
|Charlie to Alan|
Charlie was conceived by Evelyn and Frank Harper, and when Evelyn saw the ultrasound, the doctor said she was having a daughter because there were no signs of male genitalia. Evelyn gave birth to Charlie after seven and a half months.
One year, Charlie said he wanted a little brother for Christmas, so nine months later, Evelyn had her second born son, Alan. Charlie and Alan's father died of food poisoning, this resulted in the two boys having three stepfathers. The first, Harry Luther Gorsky, he eventually left the family for a younger woman. The second, Don Thomas, a twitchy gay man from Texas who called him and Alan "buckaroos". The third, Luther King, an overweight guy who's daughter Charlie seduced.
Charlie has always had a strained relationship with Alan, and would go to all costs to get out of being a good big brother to him. As a kid, Charlie would bully his brother by giving him wedgies and making fun of him at school. As a kid, Charlie once put a toy in Alan's pocket to shop-lift, and when they got caught, he made Alan take the blame.
When Charlie first met Judith, they instantly clashed, and Charlie even bribed Alan with money to not marry her. At Alan and Judith's wedding, Charlie had relations with Judith's sister, Liz in the coat closet.
During the late 1980s or early 1990's, Charlie slept with a woman he never spoke to again, and had a daughter that he never learned about.
Charlie started dating Lisa, a girl he fell madly in love with. Charlie and Lisa bought the Malibu beach house together and both hired Charlie's housekeeper, Berta. Charlie and Lisa had a different kind of relationship. The couple constantly fought, there were times they both lived there, times where only Charlie lived there, times where only Lisa lived there, and even times where neither of them lived there. Charlie and Lisa ended up breaking up for good, and Charlie got the house. Charlie refers to Lisa as his favorite girlfriend.
Later on, Charlie had another serious girlfriend, Jill. Charlie got serious with Jill, but she broke up with him because she wanted to go to Europe and "find" herself.
One night, Charlie has a one-night stand with a woman he met at a bar named Rose. Charlie soon learns the next morning that Rose is his neighbor, and ever since their one night together, Rose has stalked Charlie. Rose one glued Charlie's testicles to his thigh, and glued all his cabinets shut.
Charlie welcomes in his recently divorced brother, Alan Harper, with his son Jake. Charlie adjusts to his brother and nephew living with him, a one night stand, Rose, continues stalking him . Charlie learns that his favorite ex-girlfriend, Lisa is getting married, another ex named Jill, is now 'Bill', and his former sister-in-law, Liz doesn't remember who he is, even when they had relations at their sibling's wedding.
Charlie starts to get annoyed with his brother for sponging off him, he dates Jake's teacher, dates the female version of him, and more. Charlie attempts to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend, Lisa who is recently divorced, the relationship does not work out.
Charlie starts dating a ballet teacher named Mia. The relationship lasts several episodes, but they split up when she keeps on trying to make him change. In the season finale, Mia comes back to Malibu and Charlie proposes. Mia agrees and they start to plan a wedding. Charlie and Mia decide to elope in Los Vegas and only have Alan and his girlfriend, Kandi there. When Charlie learns that Mia wants Alan to move out, they call off the wedding. Charlie gives Alan and Kandi his wedding rings, and Alan marries Kandi and moves out.
Charlie enjoys life with his brother having moved out, and his fiancé having left him. Charlie throws parties every night and enjoys the single life. Alan knocks on Charlie's door, four months after getting married and announces that Kandi kicked him out. Charlie has to deal with Alan and Jake moving back in, and Alan's second divorce.
Charlie starts a relationship with Lydia, a stuck up snob in real estate that Alan, Jake, Rose, and Berta think is exactly like Evelyn, which is why Charlie's dating her. The couple eventually break up when Lydia gets into a fight with Berta and they make him choose.
Charlie has a brief relationship with Judith's fiancé's sister, Myra Melnick. The relationship doesn't go further when Charlie learns that Myra has to go home to her fiancé.
Charlie starts dating a judge named Linda for several episodes. The relationship ends when Charlie humiliates Linda at a special dinner. Charlie falls in love with his future stepsister, Courtney. At the wedding, Charlie proposes to her and she says yes. The brief engagement is called off when Teddy dies, and Courtney is revealed to be a con artist and is arrested.
Charlie learns that his ex-fiancé, Mia is getting married. Charlie crashes the wedding to announce that he is still in love with her. Mia turns him down, and her dad punches him in the nose.
Charlie starts dating a woman named Chelsea and the relationship gets serious. Charlie tells her that he loves her, but she just says "Thank you." Charlie proposes to Chelsea so he can get her to say she loves him. Chelsea says yes to the proposal. The couple move in together at the end of the season. Charlie is there when Judith gives birth to her daughter, Milly.
Charlie and Chelsea starts to make preparations for their marriage, at the same time both try to convive with each other's families. After Alan is arrested for punching a guy in a bar, Chelsea finds him a lawyer, Brad, which causes Chelsea a little attraction, and invites the couple to a charity event. Charlie tells Chelsea he won't be going, but Alan later warns him about Chelsea and Brad possible attraction. Charlie wonders if its true, and after hints that Chelsea may have some relationship with Chelsea, both have a fight, and she leaves the house. After entering depression, and eventually marrying a woman named Betsy in Las Vegas (which was actually invalid, as she was already married), Charlie learns that Chelsea and Brad are dating, and even stalks her with Alan's help. Both later have a post-breakup night-stand, and are left rethiking if they have done the right thing in breaking up. Charlie runs into Chelsea's friend Gail, which had previously stayed at his house during a hard breakup, and attracted Charlie and Alan (the latter caused her to leave the house by Charlie's and Berta's idea). Both had relations, but Charlie learns that Chelsea is having problems with Brad. Both meet to talk, but Chelsea storms off when Charlie tells he slept with Gail, and later when she goes to his house to apologize, but finds Charlie is sleeping with Gail again. After hearing that Alan was invited to Chelsea's birthday, Charlie takes Jake to give her a present by him, but after trying to hide from her, he crashes into a police car, and is arrested.
Single yet again, Charlie spends the majority of season 8, pursuing new women hoping to replace Chelsea. However, he begins to develop genuine feelings for Rose after she becomes a married woman. This is soon proven false, as she is using a mannequin ("Manfred Quinn") to pose as her husband in order to make Charlie jealous, and eventually win him over. In the last episode of the season, Charlie and Rose take an ill-fated trip to Paris.
As the season ended abruptly due to Sheen's departure from the series, the story arc between Charlie and Rose was scrapped and Charlie was written out of the series.
After managing to fool Charlie into believing she's happily married to Manny Quinn, Charlie started a real relationship with Rose, which culminated with the two going away to Paris for a weekend.
While in Paris, Charlie proposed Rose to marry him, which she happily accepted. Some days later, however, she caught him in the shower with another woman. Shortly after this, Charlie purportedly fell in front of an oncoming train, causing instant death. His death was apparently very messy, leaving Charlie's body severely mutilated.
Rose recounted these facts at Charlie's funeral in a sombre expression. The reaction to this news was mixed, with Charlie's family in grief and Charlie's former girlfriends in disbelief. Berta blurted out how "you never cross a crazy woman", heavily implying that Rose had to do with Charlie's accident in that she was the one to push him in front of the train.
Following his death and funeral, Charlie's beach house was put on sale by Alan and Jake and bought by Walden Schmidt. Despite being sold to a total stranger, Alan and Jake worked their way into staying in the house for good.
A major plotline in 9 episodes of Season 9, dealt with Alan healing from Charlie's death and moving on with his life. Charlie was frequently brought up in conversations, but he is referred to often in recent episodes. He was mentioned in 12 episodes in Season 9 and 3 episodes in Season 10 so far. In Season 10's "Something My Gynecologist Said", Walden recounts Charlie's life and death to a woman he was seeing, claiming it to be the story of his latest novel. He then adds how a billionaire bought the house after his death and lived with the man's brother. The woman found it to be a terrible plot. In "Give Santa A Tail-Hole", Alan spent yet another Christmas alone (having been alone the previous year which was his first Christmas without Charlie), but this time Berta comes to keep him company. When she arrived, Alan was very intoxicated, which prompts her to say "As drunk as your brother but without the charm!"In "Thank You For The Intercourse", Walden, who once started singing out loud some of Charlie's most famous jingles, causes Alan's repressed grief over his death to get the better of him. Following Walden's donation of the grand piano, Alan and Jake had a father-and-son chat, discussing how much they missed Charlie. Jake Harper mentions he was aware of how lonely Charlie seemed to be.
It has been revealed that Charlie left a journal in a safe-deposit box, which he used to log some of his thoughts in. Alan read the journal, learning things about his brother he would have never imagined.
Charlie is now in Hell and as punishment, his spirit must be in an old large lady body, albeit with testes. Charlie is also the same, death having not changed him at all. He still dislikes Alan, and also seems to still want to kick Alan out of his beach house, even though it is no longer his because Charlie's beach house has become Walden Schmidt & Alan's beach house.
In Season 10, Rose begins dating Walden, but Alan warns him of her history with Charlie. Though surprisingly, Alan didn't mention that he suspected Rose killed him, but it is subtly alluded to when Rose visits the house, this being the first time she has seen Alan since the funeral. Terrified, he tells her "You've got alot of nerve coming here"
This is the first season in the show's history where Charlie does not make a single appearance.
It's revealed that Alan keeps Charlie's ashes in the liquor cabinet and has brought them with him and Walden when they go to watch a movie. He brings out his urn to "introduce" him to his daughter Jenny who he last saw when she was four years old, while doing this Alan accidentally spills them again, and then after arguing with Walden and his mother he spills them for a third time.
- His middle name was revealed as Francis by Alan in "Putting Swim Fins on a Cat". Although Berta thought that it was Roscoe.
- The character of Charlie Harper was based on Charlie Sheen's character from Spin City, Charlie Crawford. The role was made with Sheen in mind.
- Charlie's cell phone had several escort service phone numbers. He labels them by preference, as seen when he calls "Silent Betty".
- His first jingle writing job was for a toothpaste brand. His first national commercial he wrote for was Pepsi, which about 20 million people watched when it first aired.
- He studied at Julliard, but was "kicked out" for some reason.
- Charlie Harper's death was the result of Charlie Sheen getting fired from the show following the dispute between him and Chuck Lorre.
- Actor Ashton Kutcher replaced Charlie Sheen as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire who buys Charlie's beach house and lets Alan and Jake stay at Charlie's beach house in the aftermath of his death and funeral.
- Charlie Harper made his much-anticipated return as a ghost in an episode of season 9, played by Kathy Bates.
- He's not featured in Season 10, none whatsoever. He is mentioned occasionally.
- Charlie appeared to only have one STD. Yet, he was a carrier for several of them, as several of his past girlfriends mentioned that he had given them STDs at his funeral.
- He is often seen holding his iPhone wrong in some episides. Whether this was due to Charlie being constantly intoxicated or the camera crew not picking up on this to have Sheen do retakes for these said scenes, has not been made clear.
- In season 9 finale "Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!", Charlie's hair, half of his body, and his fingers can be seen, making this the last appearance of the character being portrayed by Charlie Sheen.