Camel Filters And Pheromones
Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn (story)
Susan Beavers & Mark Roberts (teleplay)
Camel Filters And Pheromones is the 12th episode of Season 1, and the 12th episode overall.
Plot Judith and Alan argue on Charlie’s lifestyle, and how it was affecting Jake. Alan and Charlie later decide to teach Jake not to blow things out of proportion.
The next day,
Berta’s cross-mood becomes a cause of concern for the brothers, and upon asking from her, they find out that she was forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence ( Megan Fox) with her. Alan and Charlie initially think of her as a kid, but freak-out upon seeing that she's a Lolita-esque sixteen-year-old girl. Jake, on the other hand, develops an instant crush on her, and tries to impress her with his Xbox, bringing her juice and keeping her company.
When Prudence tries to hit on Charlie, Charlie claims that
Rose is his girlfriend. Berta than departs for Charlie’s grocery shopping. As soon as she leaves, Prudence takes off her shirt, and starts taking sun-bath on the deck.
Judith suddenly arrives to give the book on which Jake had to do the book-report. Alan and Charlie save themselves from exposing Prudence just in the nick of the time. As the day ends, Berta and Prudence leave.
The same night, Prudence arrives with her boyfriend / fiancée Freddie, and asks Charlie to stay the night over so that the couple could leave for Las Vegas tomorrow and get married. Over a heated discussion, where Charlie resents Prudence staying the night, Berta and Prudence’s mother
Cheryl Ann reach the scenario, and take Prudence with them.
The next day, Charlie and Alan ask Jake not to tell about Prudence to Judith. When Judith arrives and asks Jake about his weekend, Jake replies that Charlie has prohibited him to do so.
[Jakes meets Prudence, Berta's 16-year-old granddaughter]
Jake: Berta, does Prudence have a boyfriend?
Berta: Oh, honey, don't get me started.
Jake: What does that mean?
Berta: It means: If she gets a high school diploma before she gets a baby, she'll be the first one in the family.
Alan: Jake, come here, sit down.
Jake: Did I do something wrong?
Charlie: No, just sit down. We wanna talk to you about something.
Jake [sits down]: O.K.
Alan: Well Jake, you know how I always told you to tell your parents about what's happening and everything you've been doing.
Alan: Well you...
Charlie: You don't have to do that anymore. You're a big boy now and you, you don't have to do that now.
Alan: Well because, now that you're older, we feel that some things are best kept to yourself.
Jake: Or you just don't want mom to find out about Prudence.
Judith [Enters]: Hi Jake, ready to go?
Jake: Sure. [Walks out with Judith]
Judith: So how was your weekend?
Jake: Uncle Charlie says I don't have to tell you.
Title quotation from
Berta, describing Prudence's smell to Jake.
Two and a Half Men
Pilot • Big Flappy Bastards • Go East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of Hell • If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A Nap • The Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A Hump • Did You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys? • If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake • Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-ful • Phase One, Complete • Merry Thanksgiving • Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor • Camel Filters And Pheromones • Sarah Like Puny Alan • I Can't Afford Hyenas • Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick • That Was Saliva, Alan • Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats • An Old Flame With A New Wick • I Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You • Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark • No Sniffing, No Wowing • My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet • Just Like Buffalo • Can You Feel My Finger?
Back Off, Mary Poppins • Enjoy Those Garlic Balls • A Bag Full of Jawea • Go Get Mommy's Bra • Bad News from the Clinic • The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance • A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana • Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers • Yes, Monsignor • The Salmon Under My Sweater • Last Chance to See Those Tattoos • A Lungful of Alan • Zejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My Hair • Those Big Pink Things With Coconuts • Smell the Umbrella Stand • Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? • Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! • It Was Mame, Mom • A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise • I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey • A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On • That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother • Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab • Does This Smell Funny to You?
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Large Birds, Spiders and Mom • Media Room Slash Dungeon • Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo • City of Great Racks • Putting Swim Fins on a Cat • Help Daddy Find His Toenail • The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room • Is There a Mrs. Waffles? • Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids • Kinda Like Necrophilia • Meander to Your Dander • A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh • The Soil is Moist • Winky-Dink Time • Rough Night in Hump Junction • Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty • Fish in a Drawer • If My Hole Could Talk • Waiting for the Right Snapper
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Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud • A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer • A Pudding-Filled Cactus • Hookers, Hookers, Hookers • The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel • Twanging Your Magic Clanger • The Crazy Bitch Gazette • Springtime on a Stick • A Good Time in Central Africa • Ow, Ow, Don't Stop • Dead from the Waist Down • Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead • Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup • Lookin' for Japanese Subs • Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak • That Darn Priest
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I Changed My Mind About the Milk • A Big Bag of Dog • Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt • You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For • That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam • Ferrets, Attack! • Avoid The Chinese Mustard • Something My Gynecologist Said • I Scream When I Pee • One Nut Johnson • Give Santa a Tail-Hole • Welcome to Alancrest • Grab A Feather And Get In Line • Run, Steven Staven! Run! • Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It • Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby • Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries • The 9:04 From Pemberton • Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon • Bazinga! That's From a TV Show • Another Night With Neil Diamond • My Bodacious Vidalia • Cows, Prepare to be Tipped
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