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Camel Filters And Pheromones

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"Camel Filters And Pheromones"
Taahm-1x12
Season 01
Episode 12
Total Episode Count 12
Air Date January 5, 2004
Directed By Robert Berlinger
Written By Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn (story)

Susan Beavers & Mark Roberts (teleplay)

Episode Guide
Previous

"Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"

Next

"Sarah Like Puny Alan"

Camel Filters And Pheromones is the 12th episode of Season 1, and the 12th episode overall.

Plot

Judith and Alan argue on Charlie’s lifestyle, and how it was affecting Jake. Alan and Charlie later decide to teach Jake not to blow things out of proportion.

The next day, Berta’s cross-mood becomes a cause of concern for the brothers, and upon asking from her, they find out that she was forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence (Megan Fox) with her. Alan and Charlie initially think of her as a kid, but freak-out upon seeing that she's a Lolita-esque sixteen-year-old girl. Jake, on the other hand, develops an instant crush on her, and tries to impress her with his Xbox, bringing her juice and keeping her company.

When Prudence tries to hit on Charlie, Charlie claims that Rose is his girlfriend. Berta than departs for Charlie’s grocery shopping. As soon as she leaves, Prudence takes off her shirt, and starts taking sun-bath on the deck.

Judith suddenly arrives to give the book on which Jake had to do the book-report. Alan and Charlie save themselves from exposing Prudence just in the nick of the time. As the day ends, Berta and Prudence leave.

The same night, Prudence arrives with her boyfriend / fiancée Freddie, and asks Charlie to stay the night over so that the couple could leave for Las Vegas tomorrow and get married. Over a heated discussion, where Charlie resents Prudence staying the night, Berta and Prudence’s mother Cheryl Ann reach the scenario, and take Prudence with them.

The next day, Charlie and Alan ask Jake not to tell about Prudence to Judith. When Judith arrives and asks Jake about his weekend, Jake replies that Charlie has prohibited him to do so.

Cast

Guest Starring

Quotes

Scene 1

[Jakes meets Prudence, Berta's 16-year-old granddaughter]

  • Jake: Berta, does Prudence have a boyfriend?
  • Berta: Oh, honey, don't get me started.
  • Jake: What does that mean?
  • Berta: It means: If she gets a high school diploma before she gets a baby, she'll be the first one in the family.

Scene 2

  • Alan: Jake, come here, sit down.
  • Jake: Did I do something wrong?
  • Charlie: No, just sit down. We wanna talk to you about something.
  • Jake [sits down]: O.K.
  • Alan: Well Jake, you know how I always told you to tell your parents about what's happening and everything you've been doing.
  • Jake: Yeah.
  • Alan: Well you...
  • Charlie: You don't have to do that anymore. You're a big boy now and you, you don't have to do that now.
  • Jake: Why?
  • Alan: Well because, now that you're older, we feel that some things are best kept to yourself.
  • Jake: Or you just don't want mom to find out about Prudence.
  • Charlie: That too.
  • Jake: OK.
  • Judith [Enters]: Hi Jake, ready to go?
  • Jake: Sure. [Walks out with Judith]
  • Judith: So how was your weekend?
  • Jake: Uncle Charlie says I don't have to tell you.

Title quotation from

Berta, describing Prudence's smell to Jake.

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
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Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsPrincipal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverCarpet Burns and a Bite MarkYour Dismissive Attitude Toward BoobsWe Called It Mr. PinkyHi, Mr. Horned OneSleep Tight, Puddin' PopThat Voodoo That I Do DoMadame and Her Special FriendSomething Salted and TwistedSanta's Village of the DamnedThat Special TugHumiliation is a Visual MediumLove Isn't Blind, It's RetardedMy Tongue Is MeatErgo, The Booty CallThe Unfortunate Little SchnauserThe Spit-Covered CobblerGolly Moses, She's a MuffinAlways a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroAnd the Plot MoistensJust Once With Aunt SophieArguments for the QuickieThat Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4
Working for CaligulaWho's Vod Kanockers?The Sea is a Harsh MistressA Pot Smoking MonkeyA Live Woman of Proven FertilityApologies for the FrivolityRepeated Blows to His Unformed HeadRelease the DogsCorey's Been Dead for an HourKissing Abraham LincolnWalnuts and DemerolCastrating Sheep in MontanaDon't Worry, Speed RacerThat's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiMy Damn StalkerYoung People Have Phlegm TooI Merely Slept with a CommieIt Never Rains in HootervilleSmooth as a Ken DollAunt Myra Doesn't Pee a LotTucked, Taped and GorgeousMr. McGlue's FeedbagAnteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and MomMedia Room Slash DungeonDum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCity of Great RacksPutting Swim Fins on a CatHelp Daddy Find His ToenailThe Leather Gear Is in the Guest RoomIs There a Mrs. Waffles?Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsKinda Like NecrophiliaMeander to Your DanderA Little Clammy and None Too FreshThe Soil is MoistWinky-Dink TimeRough Night in Hump JunctionLook at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyFish in a DrawerIf My Hole Could TalkWaiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love ChildPie Hole, HerbDamn You, Eggs BenedictThe Flavin' and the Mavin'A Jock Strap In HellIt's Always Nazi WeekBest H.O. Money Can BuyPinocchio's MouthThe Mooch At The BooHe Smelled The Ham, He Got ExcitedThe Devil's LubeThank God for ScoliosisI Think You Offended DonDavid Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieI'd Like to Start with the CatShe'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeThe 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?My Son's Enormous HeadThe Two Finger RuleHello, I am Alan CousteauAbove Exalted CyclopsSir Lancelot's Litter BoxGood Morning, Mrs. ButterworthBaseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
818-jklpuzoWhipped Unto The Third GenerationMmm, fish. Yum.Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorFor The Sake of The ChildGive Me Your ThumbUntainted by FilthGorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Captain Terry's Spray-On HairThat's Why They Call It "Ball Room"Warning, It's DirtyFart Jokes, Pie and CelesteYay, No Polyps!Crude and Uncalled ForAye, Aye, Captain DoucheTinkle Like a PrincessI Found Your MoustacheIxnay On The Oggie DayKeith Moon Is Vomiting In His GraveI Called Him MagooGumby with a PokeyThis Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtPeople Who Love PeepholesBig Girls Don't Throw FoodNine Magic FingersA Giant Cat Holding a ChurroThe Squat and the HoverThose Fancy Japanese ToiletsThank You For The IntercourseFrodo's HeadshotsA Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesWhat A Lovely Landing StripOne False Move, Zimbabwe!Slowly and In A Circular FashionA Possum on ChemoThe Duchess of Dull-in-SackSips, Sonnets and SodomyNot In My Mouth!The War Against GingivitisPalmdale, EchGrandma's PieMr. Hose Says "Yes"Why We Gave Up WomenThe Straw In My Donut HoleOh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
I Changed My Mind About the MilkA Big Bag of DogFour Balls, Two Bats and One MittYou Do Know What The Lollipop Is ForThat's Not What They Call It In AmsterdamFerrets, Attack!Avoid The Chinese MustardSomething My Gynecologist SaidI Scream When I PeeOne Nut JohnsonGive Santa a Tail-HoleWelcome to AlancrestGrab A Feather And Get In LineRun, Steven Staven! Run!Paint It, Pierce It or Plug ItAdvantage: Fat, Flying BabyThrogwarten Middle School MysteriesThe 9:04 From PembertonBig Episode. Someone Stole A SpoonBazinga! That's From a TV ShowAnother Night With Neil DiamondMy Bodacious VidaliaCows, Prepare to be Tipped
Season 11
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Season 12
TBA

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