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A Possum on Chemo

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"A Possum on Chemo"
Walden - new
Season 09
Episode 14
Total Episode Count 191
Air Date January 16, 2012
Directed By James Widdoes
Written By Susan Beavers & Susan McMartin (story)

Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson (teleplay)

Episode Guide
Previous

"Slowly and In A Circular Fashion"

Next

"The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack"

A Possum on Chemo is the 14th episode of the ninth season of Two and a Half Men. It has aired on January 16, 2012.

Plot

When Walden and Zoey are heading out for dinner one night, they spot a lone Alan taking profile pictures for an online dating site. Walden pities him and invites him to join them for dinner, an action that seemingly annoys Zoey. At the restaurant, Walden spots Lyndsey, Alan's former girlfriend. Alan assumes that she is as lonely as he is, and starts to talk to her. Then, a young and rich man named Dylan shows up, turning out to be her date. Alan is confused, but gains new hope when a stoned Eldridge tells him that Dylan is gay and that Lyndsey misses him. Alan immediately heads out to reunite with his former girlfriend, just as Eldridge reveals to Jake that he lied just to get his father to leave. Before he can ring the bell, Alan hears Lyndsey and Dylan having sex and being devastated, leaves. To his surprise, Lyndsey calls him the next day, telling him that she wants to get together. Later, while making out, Lyndsey tells him that it got too hard for her to keep up with a young man like Dylan, as she couldn't let him see her without makeup or use the toilet in front of him. She then reveals that she is happy to be with Alan, as he cannot find someone better and is more than happy with her. Alan seems to be all the more confused after hearing this.

Meanwhile, Walden finds out that Zoey dislikes his appearance and wants him to shave and cut his hair. Walden is initially reluctant and is assured in his position by Alan. When he asks Zoey why she didn't say something earlier, she reveals that an important business party, where Walden cannot show up unkempt, is coming up. Walden finally agrees (with Berta being revealed as a hairdresser), but then changes his mind again when Alan tells him about the things Judith made him do. When he shows up at Zoey's unchanged, they start a fight and Walden runs off after mentioning that he has hopelessly fallen in love with her. Zoey later stops by to apologise, where she is greeted by a groomed Walden, who tells her that he wanted to shave and cut his hair when no one was nagging him to do it.

At the end of the show, Zoey is seen coming out of Alan's bathroom, thanking Alan for letting her use his bathroom as she doesn't want Walden to hear any of her toilet noises, with an understanding Lyndsey agreeing with her and recalling a story about a bathroom incident he had while being with Dylan.

Cast

Title quotation from

Alan, to Zoey, telling her what his face looked like when he once tried to grow a beard.

Two and a Half Men Episodes
Season 1
PilotBig Flappy BastardsGo East On Sunset Until You Reach The Gates Of HellIf I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going To Take A NapThe Last Thing You Want To Do Is Wind Up With A HumpDid You Check With The Captain Of The Flying Monkeys?If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeTwenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without A Snoot-fulPhase One, CompleteMerry ThanksgivingAlan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorCamel Filters And PheromonesSarah Like Puny AlanI Can't Afford HyenasRound One To The Hot Crazy ChickThat Was Saliva, AlanAte The Hamburgers, Wearing The HatsAn Old Flame With A New WickI Remember The Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouHey, I Can Pee Outside In The DarkNo Sniffing, No WowingMy Doctor Has A Cow PuppetJust Like BuffaloCan You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
Back Off, Mary PoppinsEnjoy Those Garlic BallsA Bag Full of JaweaGo Get Mommy's BraBad News from the ClinicThe Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceA Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaFrankenstein and the Horny VillagersYes, MonsignorThe Salmon Under My SweaterLast Chance to See Those TattoosA Lungful of AlanZejdz z Moich Wlosów a.k.a. Get Off My HairThose Big Pink Things With CoconutsSmell the Umbrella StandCan You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!It Was Mame, MomA Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping NoiseI Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyA Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnThat Old Hose Bag Is My MotherSquab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabDoes This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
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Season 4
Working for CaligulaWho's Vod Kanockers?The Sea is a Harsh MistressA Pot Smoking MonkeyA Live Woman of Proven FertilityApologies for the FrivolityRepeated Blows to His Unformed HeadRelease the DogsCorey's Been Dead for an HourKissing Abraham LincolnWalnuts and DemerolCastrating Sheep in MontanaDon't Worry, Speed RacerThat's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiMy Damn StalkerYoung People Have Phlegm TooI Merely Slept with a CommieIt Never Rains in HootervilleSmooth as a Ken DollAunt Myra Doesn't Pee a LotTucked, Taped and GorgeousMr. McGlue's FeedbagAnteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
Large Birds, Spiders and MomMedia Room Slash DungeonDum Diddy Dum Diddy DooCity of Great RacksPutting Swim Fins on a CatHelp Daddy Find His ToenailThe Leather Gear Is in the Guest RoomIs There a Mrs. Waffles?Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar LidsKinda Like NecrophiliaMeander to Your DanderA Little Clammy and None Too FreshThe Soil is MoistWinky-Dink TimeRough Night in Hump JunctionLook at Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyFish in a DrawerIf My Hole Could TalkWaiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Taterhead is Our Love ChildPie Hole, HerbDamn You, Eggs BenedictThe Flavin' and the Mavin'A Jock Strap In HellIt's Always Nazi WeekBest H.O. Money Can BuyPinocchio's MouthThe Mooch At The BooHe Smelled The Ham, He Got ExcitedThe Devil's LubeThank God for ScoliosisI Think You Offended DonDavid Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieI'd Like to Start with the CatShe'll Still Be Dead at HalftimeThe 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?My Son's Enormous HeadThe Two Finger RuleHello, I am Alan CousteauAbove Exalted CyclopsSir Lancelot's Litter BoxGood Morning, Mrs. ButterworthBaseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 7
818-jklpuzoWhipped Unto The Third GenerationMmm, fish. Yum.Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorFor The Sake of The ChildGive Me Your ThumbUntainted by FilthGorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Captain Terry's Spray-On HairThat's Why They Call It "Ball Room"Warning, It's DirtyFart Jokes, Pie and CelesteYay, No Polyps!Crude and Uncalled ForAye, Aye, Captain DoucheTinkle Like a PrincessI Found Your MoustacheIxnay On The Oggie DayKeith Moon Is Vomiting In His GraveI Called Him MagooGumby with a PokeyThis Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Three Girls and a Guy Named BudA Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerA Pudding-Filled CactusHookers, Hookers, HookersThe Immortal Mr. Billy JoelTwanging Your Magic ClangerThe Crazy Bitch GazetteSpringtime on a StickA Good Time in Central AfricaOw, Ow, Don't StopDead from the Waist DownChocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadSkunk, Dog Crap and KetchupLookin' for Japanese SubsThree Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakThat Darn Priest
Season 9
Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtPeople Who Love PeepholesBig Girls Don't Throw FoodNine Magic FingersA Giant Cat Holding a ChurroThe Squat and the HoverThose Fancy Japanese ToiletsThank You For The IntercourseFrodo's HeadshotsA Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesWhat A Lovely Landing StripOne False Move, Zimbabwe!Slowly and In A Circular FashionA Possum on ChemoThe Duchess of Dull-in-SackSips, Sonnets and SodomyNot In My Mouth!The War Against GingivitisPalmdale, EchGrandma's PieMr. Hose Says "Yes"Why We Gave Up WomenThe Straw In My Donut HoleOh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
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Season 11
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Season 12
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